Retour À La France …

October 2, 2024 / Denise / Leave a comment

Cycling Team 2024 – All set and ready to go

Crêpes Grand Marnier. Baguettes. Cafés. Hot Chocolate. Underground bars. Chasing the sun rays. Hitch Hiking. Hostels. Trying to ski. New Friends. Lots of laughter. Missing home. First Winter. Minimal heating. Exploring. Learning. Life’s first adventures.

Just some of the many memories of my year in France several moons ago when I left home for the first time to learn to speak French. A dream of mine for many years. I was dropped off in Grenoble by my very brave father, left in what seemed like a monastery, enrolled at the Université de Grenoble, and the rest is history.

I made some life-long friends. Came away with a good working knowledge of French and most importantly a good working knowledge of life. Learned to live on my own and learned to manoeuvre the intricacies of relationships.

And now to return to this country I once called home for a fleeting moment in time. I feel as if I should know everything but I don’t. My memories are limited to the little town of Grenoble, neatly tucked away at the bottom of the alps where as a student you felt you owned the town.

Looking forward this time to experiencing France as an adult with nowhere to be and lots of time to get there. Wanting most of all to resurrect my knowledge of French hoping to feel as comfortable as I did many years ago.

Our first day included a round trip from St. Rémy to Château des Beaux de Provence. Cycling along the cycle paths through the peaceful countryside, stumbling upon the ruins of an aqueduct and eventually exploring the Château des Beaux, an ancient medieval fortress which attracts many tourists for its amazing views, quaint shopping and interesting restaurants. But at the same time represents a warring history since the 11th Century. Its ruinous buildings add charm and intrigue. And as you venture to the top, the view opens up unexpectedly as far as Marseille leaving you gratified that you took the time to slowly explore the ins and outs of this amazing Château.

The following days just kept getting better and better. Beautiful weather. Cool breezes. Apple orchards. Open fields. Mountain Views. Quiet cycle paths. Rolling hills presenting a challenging ride. Passing through the small towns of Moleges, Saint Andiol, Plan d’Organ stopping in others for lunch and the much needed beverage.

Crispy cold white wine and local beers make the cycle all the more worthwhile. Chatting on the way, stopping to take the must-have pics to preserve our memories of this journey. At no time imagining the beauty of the towns before us.

La Fontaine de Vaucluse captured our hearts.

Upon approaching we stopped off at what we believe to be a beautiful respite for the day. What seems to be a river with clear water emerald in colour, lined by stone buildings centuries old carefully preserved. We admire those daring to venture into the water on kayaks imagining that the water is near freezing. Thanks but no thanks.

But as we coast into la Fontaine de Vaucluse we are struck by the unassuming beauty of this town. Large Sycamore trees encircle the Centre fountain making for a cosy welcoming atmosphere. The chitter chatter in the restaurants that surround, the babbling of the water flowing in and around the town, the cobblestone streets make it the perfect stop for the next two nights.

We make the most of our stay by exploring the narrow streets, searching for the source of the water and finally hiking up the steep stoney pathway to the ruins of an old castle on the hill taking in the majestic views from the top.

I finally taste my first real French Crepe Grand Mariner in what feels like a century, and all is good. Bringing back memories of a time long ago when my journey had only just begun.

And so it went from St. Rémy to Châteaux des Beaux, La Fontaine de Vaucluse to l’Isle sur la Sorgue, Roussillon, Cavaillon…. One enchanting village after another. Capturing your heart with its authenticity and charm. Comforting you with its wine and food.

Adding to my memories of Crêpes Grand Marnier, Baguettes, Cafés with Escargots, Wine, Cycle paths, open fields, Apple Orchards, Vineyards, Biking, Fine Dining. Let’s not forget the laughter and friendship that will last a lifetime.

Cycling Team 2024 – What a blast we had!

Retirement Year No. 4…

September 23, 2024 / Denise / 2 Comments

I’ve been super busy. Not words that I ever thought I’d utter once I retired. But life has been relentless. Relentless with its blessings. Relentless with its surprises. Relentless with its opportunities.

When I retired I dove into four main hobbies I wanted to explore. Quilting, Mosaic, Macrame and Writing. I wanted to master, if not just dabble in acquiring and improving on these skills. With no other purpose than to learn something new. Explore my creativity. Keep myself motivated and occupied.

And if you know me I dove in head first. No swimming in the baby pool for me. So I signed up with the University of YouTube and began to learn everything I could. For days and weeks on end I’d pore over videos of experts doing their thing. And I got to acquiring the necessary tools to practice what I had learned. I loved every single moment of this learning experience.

Quilting was both easy and challenging. I could always manage a sewing machine, having started sewing at my mother’s side as a young child. Making the quilt tops proved to be simpler than I expected but nonetheless exciting. Watching large pieces of fabric turn into small pieces of fabric and then magically morph into varying designs at the flip of a half square triangle. That was thrilling. The actual machine quilting needed some practice and specific tools. And I’ve been forging ahead learning something new about quilting and myself with each quilt I sew.

Mosaic took me out of my comfort zone. I had taken a course in the art of mosaic several years prior but never followed up until now. I was rusty and again turned to YouTube for inspiration. I marvelled in the mixing of grout or concrete, cutting of tiles, watching different patterns and images come to life, much like the art of quilting. My garden is now spotted with stepping stones and my home is adorned with some mosaic wall art. Products of my mosaic adventure.

Macrame just soothes me. My husband would frequently call out to me in my hideaway loft asking what I was doing, and, with a smile, I’d simply answer “tying knots”. To make sure these were creative knots and not knots of some sinister vice, he built a macrame ‘thing-a-majig’ for me to sit and play with my cord to my heart’s content. I’ve made wall hangings, plant holders, hat holders, table runners – and there is still so much cord and projects on my wish list, I’ll probably need another few years of arthritis-free fingers to complete them.

My writing kept me grounded through these explorations. Helping me to focus, to keep my thoughts in check. It allowed me to discuss different topics – those close to my heart, and those close to the hearts of others. I’ve published most through my blog, some through a local magazine, but have kept a lot to myself. Still shy. Not yet ready to be shared. But with all that’s going on in my life, the whole writing adventure surely gets pushed aside from time to time.

Fast forward to 2024 and I had to make a decision. Too many hobbies meant being a Jack of all trades and a master of none. So I took a critical look at my work and my skills. Did a deep dive into my true moments of joy. And made the decision to focus on one that gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. Have another as a nice-to-have, that sweet pleasure we all need in our life and one more to keep me grounded. Pretty much a 60-30-10 sort of notion. Balance. Or so I thought.

Then there’s the sand to add to the bottle – the glue keeping all these balls together – gardening, exercise and family. These fill me up in different ways. The first affords me the space to sit and dream every day, the second keeps me outdoors exploring and my heart pumping to see another day and the third makes everything all worthwhile.

When I retired I never wanted to use the word ‘busy’ to describe my life again. The Oxford Thesaurus defines ‘busy’ as occupied or unavailable. ‘Occupied’ sounds unapproachable and ‘Unavailable’ just sounds selfish. ‘Busy’ doesn’t really sound like a happy to be.

So I’ve decided that what I am, is enjoying the fruits of a well-deserved retirement. Long but apt. My hands are full with exciting projects and my heart is overflowing with unimaginable joy.

It’s a short list…

September 21, 2024 / Denise / 2 Comments

So many social media posts list up to 40 life-long learnings of those of us blessed with age. Lists that, while trying to help those younger in years to skip the line to really understanding what life should be all about, tend to dismiss the fact that the very struggles of daily life, navigating the ups and downs are in fact, part and parcel of growing up and finally reaching the stage when you too can actually own the simple cliche – don’t sweat the small stuff. The journey, in my opinion, is the real deal.

So this is my short but sweet list.

1. You are in control. Be accountable. Take responsibility for your life.

2. You are supposed to make mistakes. Own them. Learn from them and move on.

3. People will always have something to say. If it’s not true – forget it. If it’s true – do something about it.

4. Laughing is therapy. Laugh at and with yourself first and foremost. You will find that you actually have a great sense of humour.

5. Spend time alone. Become your own best friend.

Do you have a list?

I am lapsing…

March 26, 2024March 26, 2024 / Denise / 5 Comments

How does one get out of lapsing. Not having time for the things you absolutely love. Trying to get other items off the list so you can get back to your favourite pastime. Has my life returned to that awful ‘Busy’ stage. I sincerely hope not.

I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But. Wait. That light is being shrouded by other projects. Projects that need to be done. But projects that are really not on my ‘Happy to be retired radar’.

My quilting is amiss. My blogging is flushed. My gardening has been relegated to watering when I can and a quick walk through my garden to cut back the dead leaves.

I have been making time for friends and family. They are the problem. Too needy. LOL. Can’t do without them though.

And on top of it all, I miss my children and grandchildren, more importantly.

Where has my retirement dream gone?

This is an SOS to all those who have been here and overcome.

HELP!!!

Leaving is the hardest part…

January 6, 2024January 9, 2024 / Denise / 9 Comments

Just a little over a year ago I left my grandchildren with the heaviest of hearts. There was just not enough time to share my love with them. And now one year later, the departure is no less heart wrenching.

I can’t complain though. 2022 was amazing. With two visits to Aussie and a Christmas season shared with all at home. I will never complain. But leaving is always the hardest part. The cuddles become sweeter. The laughs become louder. The moments more precious.

Solomon is now 4. He is, for all intents and purposes, a big boy. He is a loving big brother. His cousins adore him. He is gentle and kind, most of the time. Conversations vary from little boy to almost teenager. But there is always a conversation and he more often than not starts with – “Grandma, did you know….?” sharing his 4-year old wisdom whenever he can. His obsession with Super heroes is beyond. “You want to come visit my superhero house Grandma?” Of course I answered. “But just know Grandma that it always snows on Fridays.” “Well I’ll have to bring my warm jacket.” I reply. “Not to worry Grandma,” he consoles. “I have warm clothes for 80-year olds……” “What about 40-year olds,” I counter. “Yes Grandma all ages. Not to worry.” I frown. 80 year olds? Well really.

Wyatt is 3. Learning to be a big brother. Always busy and still can’t keep still for long. Doesn’t know how to walk from A to B. Must run. Easily distracted unless it involves cars, planes or trains – a worrisome characteristic when learning to ride his bike, looking all over the place except ahead of him. Loves to help in the garden except when he stumbles upon his water gun and must squirt everything in sight. Loves the ocean as he calls it, running into the waves and toppling over, bubbling up in peals of laughter. Not good for grandparents. Thankfully he knows how to swim. His cuddles, when he decides to share them, warm your heart. And you don’t want to let go.

Julius is 2 going on 12. Talks non-stop. Not needing any response really. Full sentences with an accent that takes some time getting accustomed to. “Where dis come from?” is his favourite question with a hint of Trini lingo. “Shops!” is the go-to answer. And of course, the age-old question of ‘Why?’. He is learning to love the water, but it can’t be too cold. “I want to cuddle you” jerks at your heart but you soon learn that it usually gets him off the ground and from A to B very easily. But you don’t care. A cuddle is a cuddle. He has a mischievous streak. A smile that melts ice. Determined with no fear.

Julius – thinks he is a big boy always with a story to tell

Then there is our Thea Molly Rose – almost 7 months. Our newest angel. Our first granddaughter and the first girl in the family. She has captured our hearts with her open smile, quiet nature (for now) and her delicious thunder thighs. She is quietened by Solomon and excited by her brother, Wyatt who makes her laugh at the slightest action. She loves hugs and kisses, probably because she can’t yet dodge them on her own. And I have this feeling that she will rule her brother and cousins with the wave of a finger. Time will tell.

Their laughter. Their stories. Their different personalities keep you on your toes. Your heart swells with each look, each smile, each cuddle, each small hand slipped into yours. Each time you hear them utter the word, ‘Grandma’. And you can’t tear yourself away. But you must.

Until next time my angels.

Grandma loves you to the planets and back, over and over and over again.

They may hold my hand for a little while, but they will forever hold my heart.

Welcoming new growth in 2024…

December 31, 2023January 1, 2024 / Denise / 1 Comment

Driving home last night after what turned out to be a lovely birthday celebration of dinner and cocktails at sunset – well what was supposed to be a sunset – we were greeted with the beginnings of very stormy weather. Dark ominous clouds, thunder and lightening. Weather that had been forecast a few days prior. But we went anyway.

I was sitting in the front of the vehicle with my son. And I sighed at the rain. Something I don’t usually do. I love the rain and all the good that it brings. Pondering this time however what it might mean for the first week of the New Year.

“Rain brings new growth Mum.” And I smiled in relief. And some tears of gratitude for my many blessings.

And so I begin the New Year with promises of new growth. With an open mind and open arms. To whatever life may throw at me. Knowing that even though dark clouds may threaten, there will always be the proverbial silver lining. I just need to look for it.

Happy New Year

December 30, 2023December 31, 2023 / Denise / 1 Comment

It’s been a while since I’ve made any New Year resolutions. Primarily because I always seem to loose the moment the New Year begins. I forget. I change my mind. I simply can’t keep it up. Whatever it may have been. My resolutions became something I thought I wanted to do and never did. And as such I spent the year kicking myself for not being able to achieve what I thought were non-complex goals.

In 2023 however I made a simple commitment. In April. One that I felt I could keep. One that resonated with who I was and who I wanted to be. I committed to being true to myself.

Some may disagree and I would sincerely appreciate the feedback whether or not I have succeeded. But at that moment in my life I decided point blank that I was working too hard to please everyone else. I had lost who I was.

I had a lingering memory of this fun-loving teenager and I wanted to be her once again. She loved life. She laughed a lot. She feared nothing. She could do anything she set her mind to. And she revelled in the security of the love of family.

So what had changed. I had a life to love. My sense of humour still prevailed. There was nothing to stop me from doing what I wanted to do. And Lord knows my family have never left my side. But I had lost my way. I let myself be swayed by the expectations of a society that I didn’t really want to be a part of. A society that wanted me to conform to their norms. To look like them. To be like them. And I was finding it hard to keep up for my aspirations no longer conformed. I no longer wanted to be like them. I was not one of them. And never would be.

With that revelation, I forgave myself all wrongdoings and moved on. Just like that. Almost like an epiphany. And just like that she returned. Slowly. One step at a time. One sweet laugh at a time. One small accomplishment at a time.

She was no longer a teenager. Lord knows she doesn’t look like one. But her heart and soul feel the energy and passion of a teenager. Her years though have taught her when to say ‘enough’ and move on. How to love with all your heart and be loved. How to be true to yourself.

The journey continues. My commitment remains strong. And I look forward to new growth, new love, new beginnings.

Happy New Year to everyone. May you find your true self. May you live your true life. May you be uplifted by the love of your family and friends.

Merry Christmas

December 23, 2023December 23, 2023 / Denise / 3 Comments

I have been absent from my blog for a few months this year. For those of you who may have noticed and missed my musings, thanks for following me. The truth is that I’ve been preoccupied with life. Not the cliché ‘busy’ but ‘preoccupied’. And intentionally so.

There is a difference between being ‘busy’ and being ‘preoccupied’ – in my mind anyway. ‘Busy’ is what I was during my working years. What seemed like a million things to do to get through a day’s work, at the same time keeping up with my other responsibilities as a home-owner, wife, mother – and let’s not forget sneaking in some time for myself and trying to remain true to my family and friends. It was indeed a busy life. And as much as I enjoyed this former life which has afforded me many satisfying moments, and luxuries – and still does mind you – I can safely say that my retired life is second to none. One that is well-deserved and well-timed, if I may say so myself.

For you see I now preoccupy myself with what matters most to me. Time for myself, my family and my friends. A better place to be when whatever you do is a conscious decision based on the value it brings to you and those who are important to you. You now begin to focus on building memories leaving the ‘things’ you felt you absolutely needed behind. You now engross yourself in activities which nurture your inner creativity and bring you inner joy. You learn how to say ‘enough’ and walk away, peacefully. You learn how to ‘let go’ even though your heart is torn, but knowing that you’ve done your best. Believing that it will all work out in its own time.

My blog writing may have taken a dive, but I still take time to share my thoughts in other avenues. I’ve enrolled in the University of YouTube and delve into the making of anything a sewing machine can do. I’ve rekindled some friendships and made new ones and probably due to a natural expiration date may have let some go. I’ve quietened my voice so that I can listen more and in so doing find that I understand more. In essence I continue to be a work in progress, even at this stage of my life for I realize that there is so much more that I can be, that I want to be.

And my blessings abound. As I sit and write, the squealing voices of my grandchildren in the background fill my heart to overflowing with love. The pitter patter of rain falling on the roof lulls me to a semi-conscious state of peace knowing that the garden is enjoying a much needed gentle soaking. I am reminded of so many great moments this year – from the spur of moment visit to friends near and far for a catch up, to cycling to the end of the earth with my one and only. From siblings hot-dog nights, to camper-van exploring with my kids. From sitting staring at the ocean to trekking through the forest feasting my eyes and my soul on some of the most beautiful waterfalls. To just sitting still.

To understand and accept that life is what you make it, that happiness comes from within and every moment counts. These are the clichés I aspire to embody.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. May your heart be filled with love. May you be at peace.

Returning to Greece

May 30, 2023May 30, 2023 / Denise / 1 Comment

The last time I visited Athens, I was in my late teens and I won’t even try to count how many years ago as I’ll get lost in the numbers. My memories have faded somewhat though. I do remember visiting the Acropolis. I remember pretending to be on stage in the ruins of an amphitheater, mike in hand, singing Lord alone knows what. And I remember the excitement of the Plaka with its array of restaurants and local food choices. What stays with me in vivid colour however is being lost in love with my now husband as we experienced Europe together, ‘training’ it from one city to the next, stopping at whim in small towns that caught our fancy.

And it is clear to me now more than ever that your memories will always be just that – the feelings, the emotions evoked throughout your life. Visiting Athens now is a different experience. I am at a totally different stage of life and even though my focus may seem to be capturing the beauty of the city through my camera lens, I know that these special moments shared with family and friends will be what brings that sweet smile to my face when I look back on the adventures in my life.

Sharing good times with family and friends

Greece will always hold the mystery and allure of its ancient mythology. The Gods who ruled the skies and the earth. The Gods who ruled your heart and your destiny. I remember being captured by it as a teenager, dreaming, wishing that I had been part of this enigma years ago. And now as I re-visit and explore its islands, I am fascinated by its ancient history that is still so present and the masterful landscapes that have been created over time, by the hand of nature, or their Gods.

I have returned now for a ‘big fat Greek wedding’ on the island of Milos. With its 5000 welcoming inhabitants, its arid terrain, and island charm, it brings back flashes of our previous visit to Santorini and Mykonos when we were met by ladies dressed in black at the port offering rooms in their homes for rent (Airbnb entrepreneurs). Their hospitality second to none. Walking through the narrow streets hand in hand admiring the beauty of the monochromatic buildings in their blue and white. Seeking out the secluded beaches where we could spend precious time together. And of course experiencing the night life for which these islands were renowned.

Now as we explore Milos, the fun, adventure and charm of the islands continue to captivate. At first sight Milos seems very underwhelming. Its airport will either scare you or charm the pants off of you. But as you explore the island more closely it will amaze you. The Luna-like landscape which initially jarred because of its aridity becomes fascinating. The strip mining quarries expose the diverse colours of the earth in a majestic, almost painterly manner. The peaceful nature of the sandy/pebbly beaches beckon, the varying blues of the clear waters draw you in. The food which stays true to its Greek origins, excites your taste buds and once again the memories are created for a lifetime.

Buds and Roses

March 6, 2023March 6, 2023 / Denise / 4 Comments

At the end of 2022, my family joined me in celebrating my birthday yet again. Over the past few years this has become a quiet family moment for me – one that I absolutely treasure. It is never the same. My nieces and nephews drop in and out, depending on their social itinerary. My sons stay and go depending on their location – living abroad poses a bit of a problem. And I can always count on my siblings. The menu varies depending on our moods – but cake and ice cream are a must. Thanks to my husband who always makes the effort to ensure that I am well pampered.

This year my sister-in-law introduced a simple but very thoughtful table heart-to-heart. Sharing our Roses, Thorns and Buds for 2022 and the New Year. Roses represent the good things in our life. Thorns are those things that caused us pain. And Buds are the things that we look forward to in the future.

So simple, yet so poignant.

We shared sincerely, with some jokes in between. We were reflective and appreciative. We supported each other through the process. We learned a bit more about each other’s trials and tribulations. And ended on a happy note that we were so willing and able to continue to open ourselves up in a loved and protected space.

I learned a few things:

We are a family that loves being a family.
We truly care for each other and are happy for each other
Our sense of humour which may seem warped to others, helps us through our trials and tribulations.
Retirement is a stage of life that brings reason, simplicity and gratitude for our blessings.

May your months ahead be filled with Buds and Roses, and may the thorns dissipate with the love of your family and friends who support and protect you.