Five little bottles standing on the wall. If one little bottle should accidentally fall, there’d be four little bottles standing on the wall. I used to sing this song for my children when they were small, teaching them to count. Never did I think that this would reflect my destiny.
I’ve just left Australia after 2 months of what was initially meant to be a family get together for Christmas, which somehow turned into what feels like a mass exodus of my sons. For my husband and I now return home, just the two of us. Back to empty-nesting. A stage of life which I am familiar with and treasure, but it’s the distance. Or is it much more than that?
It’s a long long way away. Approximately 26 hours of travel depending on whether I am going there or returning home. Many of us have children who live in another country. Grandchildren included. And I’m not sure why this is hitting me like a ton of bricks, but it is. I guess having two of my 3 boys settle abroad took some getting used to. My third son was always close or closer to home. But now that he has decided to join his siblings it’s almost as if I feel deserted.
The reality of what an empty nest really is has hit home. It’s hard enough leaving my grandkids behind and my sons may or may not believe this but it’s just as hard leaving them behind. For they will always be my babies. And, as I write, many stories of them growing up pass through my mind.
Like the time my two eldest decided to disguise themselves and go look for Santa’s elves incognito. Or the time my youngest found a nest of snakes and decided to bring them home as pets. When Josh fell into the bougainvillea bushes. Or Xander was taken away in the elevator and I ran a flight of stairs like a mad mother to catch him on the next floor. Watching Ben pace up and down begging God to return his dog. The many camping trips. Their first steps. Their first day at school. Their many firsts. Waving them goodbye with my eldest driving them to school. The tears, the laughter, the love, the growing pains. The anxiety. The sleepless nights. The prayers.
And yet there is a great sense of pride knowing that they have grown into descent human beings, in spite of the many mistakes I’ve made as a parent. Loving, attentive husbands and supportive, adoring fathers, surrounded by a group of people who are happy to call them friend, husband, Dad, son-in-law. I have so much to be grateful for. And yet the tears flow, my heart breaks and I yearn to be with them again.
You never know what life has in store for you. So be grateful. Enjoy the little things in life for as you grow older and wiser, you will realise that those little things were, in fact, the big things.
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